It’s all about personality

We all know we’re going to have to deal with annoying personalities at the blackjack table. These people think they’re God’s gift to the game (even though they’re playing the $5 minimum table), and are not about to sit back and let you hit that 14 when “you shouldn’t.” Of course, you probably shouldn’t, but what about the other 20 times you just want to do your thing and not hear about it from the ignorant mob of Rome?

It’s actually a significant problem for many players, and it gets under my skin just as much as a gabby, annoying girl talking straight through her appetizer at Friday’s while you’re at the next table just trying to relax (no, that’s not a hypothetical situation).

This also plays into appearances, since many of these players are older, overweight and more or less look like they were beat down by life about 5,000 hands ago. So if you saunter in and you’re under 40 and not 300 lbs., they’re going to assume you don’t know what you’re doing. And since they “do” know what they’re doing, it’s their job to correct you when you make a wrong move.

All right, you get the point. So what to do about it? A few solutions:

First, just absorb it for a while, silently, then get up and move to another table. If you wait long enough, these folks will start attacking themselves when they’re not getting anywhere with you. Once this starts up, make a little production of leaving…tip the dealer and offer a little comment like “Good luck with this group.” Top it off with a head-shake smirk combination, and be on your way. They won’t change, but at least you get your message across.

Second, you can start making wrong plays on purpose to irritate them into leaving. It’s not easy to chase off a person who wouldn’t get up unless their stool was on fire or their bladder was literally exploding, but if you like 15 enough times against a dealer’s 4, they’ll leave. Don’t goat them on verbally here. Adding in something like “Why are you still here then?” will likely be taken the wrong way as a challenge. If you continue to ignore, I promise you the bucket will mutter something about “awful, amateur players” and collect his things. Now, if you choose, you can pull out the Pulp Fiction quote and gesture to the waitress. “Garcon, coffee!”

Finally, you could always listen to them and change the way you play. But if you do that, the terrorists win.